I’m taking a break. Not for long (I hope), but just for long enough for me to sort out my mental health and re-jig my life! It all sounds a bit dramatic, but I promise it’s not – I just keep looking at my blog and feeling guilty that I’m not posting or showing it any attention. I shouldn’t;t feel guilty about not writing, but I do.
My head has been in a really weird place since February, and I can’t seem to shift it. I’ve been unhappy with everything! I can’t find enjoyment in anything at the moment, which really effects my relationships with people, food and activities. I feel like if I write a post about something whilst I’m in this negative mindset, my passion for the products just don’t show through.
My anxiety has been through the roof, I’ve not been sleeping properly and my eating habits are as random as ever. Something I used to genuinely enjoy was exercise, but I just can’t bring myself to go anymore. I still pay £20 a month for the membership, because I can’t bring myself to cancel it because I know I will go again, I just need to change my mindset. My sleeping pattern is so strange – I get home and I’m exhausted but I have so much to do, that I then become active again and can’t settle. Then it gets to 9pm and I crash on the sofa – hardcore. Ben really struggles to wake me up, and then when I do wake up, I’m restless again. I then sleep on and off throughout the night before finally giving up and waking up at 5am. That’s been a continuous pattern for the last 6-7 weeks.
I’m even struggling to want to write this post. It feels pointless, like it doesn’t even matter because no one reads these posts anyway. I don’t know, I guess I just don’t want people thinking im neglecting my little corner of the internet. I want you to know that if I could muster up the enthusiasm to write good content, I would! At the moment, I’m not getting home until 6:30-7pm. I then shower, sort out lunches for the next day and have dinner. That gets to 8:30pm, and I know I need to be in bed by 10:30pm at the latest. At that time of night, the last thing I’ve been wanting to do is write.
Things will be changing. This summer is going to be amazing and my blogposts are going to be the best yet. I am planning bigger and better things, but they take time. The last thing I want to do is write shitty posts that are half-arsed and not worth reading. I want this page to grow with more reader and more people excited for when I post new things. I want to be excited when I upload a new blogpost, and be proud of what I’ve created. I’m planning some really cool things this year and hoping you can enjoy the journey with me! (P.S One of those things may be a sneaky GIVEAWAY to my followers!). If you aren’t already following my blog, please do as it would mean the absolute world!